Holding on
by TZM001
Summary: Watching the person you love fight for their life can be a traumatizing experience and a heavy burden to carry as you put on a brave face for your family...this is the night Lena had always feared and now she is living a nightmare.


_A/N: There is this moment in Vigil S01E09 where Jude walks to sit next to Lena and gently places his hand over hers in an effort to comfort her while they wait for Stef to come out of surgery. Just before Jude sits down, there is a look on Lena's face (ever so subtle) where you can see the strain of the situation and (I imagine) the night before taking its toll and threatening the tight grip she has kept together for the sake of the children. This moment inspired this story. _

_A/N: I do not own any of Fosters Family characters in the story, all rights belong to ABC Family. _

_Thank you for reading. Look forward to your reviews. _

The slow beeping of the heart rate monitor, the ringing sound echoing off the walls was filling the air, the only thing everyone had to hang on to as they stood there watching machines pump air into Stef's chest, her chest rising and lowering at a steady and even pace. Stef's body was as still as a rock, her face peaceful, as though she was in a deep and restful sleep but her pale skin a stark reminder of her critical condition.

"Honey we're all here...Brandon, Mariana and Jesus" Lena said looking at the children as they watched over their mother

"You're doing really great...and we love you" Lena said realising that she needed to express what the kids wanted to say but were too afraid to, their fear and shock stunning them into a frozen silence.

They had never seen their mother like this, helpless almost lifeless. Their mother who walked with her head held high in confidence and swagger was laying there clinging to life on a thread. They didn't know how to react, what to say, so they just stood there starring.

"Alright" Lena finally said realising that no one was going to say anything more...there was nothing more to say, it had been a long day and they needed the rest as much as Stef did.

Lena ushered the children out, Mariana the only one to extend her hand to squeeze her mothers in an effort to reach out.

"Brandon I want you take everyone home, so you can get some sleep"

"I want to stay, what about dad?" surprised that Lena wanted him to leave his mother.

"Your father has enough on his plate, I need you to step up...and ah, bring me some clothes when you come back in the morning" As she handed him the keys to her car. Disappointment on Brandon's face that he had to be the man of the family, when all he wanted to do was to be by his mother's side.

"Mariana Jesus, Brandon is in charge" Lena's tone was cold. She could barely look at the twins as she spoke the words, she was afraid that if they saw how she felt she would never be able to take that look away from them again. Lena turned and slowly walked back into the room to stand beside Stefs bed, for the first time allowing herself to acknowledge her emotions.

A lone tear trickled down Lena's face, it was closely followed by another tear as they began to fall like rain drops "Brandon took the twins home. I'm trying really hard...to forgive them, I'm sorry I'm not doing a better job" A silent desperate plea for Stef to stay alive. She was the rock and glue that held this family together, how would any of them begin to pick up the pieces if she did not pull through.

Lena sat on the chair at the edge of the bed her eye's fixated on Stef's chest, watching it rise and fall, the only sign that Stef was still alive the only hope Lena had to cling to. Every so often Lena would roll her head around her shoulders in an effort to break the tension in her neck. Her back ached from sitting in the uncomfortable chair, from leaning into Stef to hold her hand. Her eyes were heavy, the strain for the day weighing heavily on her eyelids. She fought to keep her eyes open, her body betraying her desire to stay awake and make sure that Stef continued to breathe through the night.

The nurse entered the room, picking up the chart and reading through the contents.

"You should get something to eat or drink, the cafeteria is just one floor below us" the woman said as she stood at the foot of Stef's bed.

Lena looked across at the woman. She was a broad shouldered woman, medium height, short brown hair, probably in her mid 40's. Her badge read Lisa Edwards.

"I'm fine thank you" Lena responded politely

"You are going to have to keep your strength up, night vigils are long and hard on the body" the women responded giving Lena a sharp look that suggested I have done this rodeo many times, best you take my advice.

"Perhaps I will get something a little later...how is she doing?" Lena watched as Lisa moved from the foot of Stef's bed to the side where all the machines were operating, making notations in the charts as she read the information displayed on each machine.

"Her vitals are good, her blood pressure is a little high but that is to be expected...I'm Lisa Edwards by the way, I'll be in and out most of the night checking her vitals"

Lena nodded at the woman "I'm Lena Adams, Stefs partner"

Lisa smiled in Lena's direction. "A pleasure, I am sorry we have to meet under such terrible circumstances"

Lena moved her gaze from Lisa to Stef, her heart aching every time she saw the pale but peaceful look on Stef's face, she silently willed Stef to open her eyes just for one moment.

Lisa finished writing on the chart and made her way back to the foot of Stef's bed to place the board back in its holster. "I'll be right out outside if you need anything"

Lena looked up from Stef at Lisa, the exhaustion filling the bags under her eyes, "Thank you!" was all she could get out before she turned back to look at Stef, running her eyes up and down the length of Stef's body looking for something to sooth the burning ache in her heart.

Ten years she had been with this woman, ten years they had raised a family, created a home and built a life together. Ten years she'd loved this woman...ten years wasn't enough, they needed more time, there was still so much they wanted to do, needed to share together, and experience as a couple, as a family. It can't end like this, not after the night they had, not after the harsh words they had spoken to each other.

Lena stood up and leaned into to give Stef another kiss on the forehead, but this time she lingered just a little while longer, feeling Stef's skin touch hers. "Our life is perfect" she whispered "I'm sorry!" she brushed her hand lightly over Stefs head, running her hands over her hair.

Lena sat back down and leaned her forehead on the bed; she thought she would close her eyes for just one minute. She doesn't remember falling asleep, but she was jolted awake, startled by the loud harsh sound that began filling the room, it was sharp, high pitched and piercing. She looked up at the monitor to see a flashing red light; the spikes on the heart monitor were erratic, jumping up and down like a pogo stick. Lena sat up eyes wide open, her own heart began to race, she looked at Stef and immediately got up from her chair, as she turned towards the door, Lisa came bolting in moving swiftly to the side of the bed were the monitors were standing.

"What's happening, what's wrong?" the words tumbling out, concern, and hysteria filling Lena's voice.

Lisa didn't respond she looked at the monitors; she was closely joined by another nurse.

As the 2nd nurse walked into the room Lisa turned to the nurse "Her vitals are tanking, her body temperature is dropping drastically..." the urgency in Lisa's voice causing Lena to panic

"Please, what's going on?" Lena was desperate, the high pitching sound was piercing her ears, her heart was racing and her stomach was quickly rolling down a hill.

The 2nd nurse turned to look at Lena, she very swiftly moved to her side of the bed

The woman spoke slowly and calmly "Her body temperature has dropped, and her heart rate is slowing drastically, we need to try and re-stabilise her" as the nurse spoke a doctor strode into the room. "Tell me what's happening?" looking at Lisa while picking up Stef's chart.

The nurse could have been shouting and Lena wouldn't have heard a word, the noise from the monitor was circling her head, drowning out the words coming from the nurse. Lena was finding it hard to focus and concentrate on what the nurse was trying to tell her. Her brain was desperately trying to take in the information that was being given to her but her heart was desperate to crawl onto the bed and wrap her arms around Stef, to hold onto her for dear life in the hopes that it would be enough so Stef wouldn't leave.

The nurse grabbed Lena's attention "Ms Adams!...we need you to wait outside for a minute so we can try and stabilise her"

The nurse gently ushered Lena out the room, putting her arms around her shoulder allowing Lena to lean against her frame for support. Lena turned her head to look over at Stef, her eyes wide tears filling her bottom eyelids.

Lena stood outside the room as the doctor vociferously gave orders to the nurses in the room. A 3rd nurse swept passed Lena pushing a tray full of needles and cylinders of medication into Stef's room. Lena pressed the palms of her hands together, her eyes penetrating the glass frames that separated her from Stef and the hospital staff. Her eyes bulging out of their socket, her neck straining to see what was going on. Her breathing was shallow, her body shook slightly, her knees locked in place in an effort to keep her standing

The sound of Stef's heart flatling stopped Lena's heart; she caught her breath as her head turned to the monitor and saw the single line move across the screen. The world began to spin; Lena felt as though she was falling from the sky, her body weightless, she fought her instinct to hit the floor. Her stomach moved its way up to the bottom of her throat. "Oh god" was her only thought as she stood and watched, helpless, frozen in that single spot, her body stiff as a pole.

"We are losing her, get the crash cart in here" the doctor said as he began compressions on Stefs chest.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10" the doctor huffed with every thrust into Stef's chest.

"Crash cart is ready" the nurse said looking at the doctor compressing into Stef's chest.

"Charge to 200" the doctor blurted out. The nurse turned the dial on the machines before handing the paddles to the doctor.

"Clear" everyone in the room lifted their hands in the air, as the doctor placed the paddles on Stefs bare chest. The volts of electricity causing Stef's body to spasm, causing her back to violently arch in the air. Everyone turned to look at the monitor, a few seconds passed, their anticipation was met with nothing but a single screeching sound that vibrated against the walls in the room. The doctor gave another order

"Charge to 250" again the nurse turning the dial on the machine

"Clear" this time the shock lifting Stefs body off the bed, and again everyone turned to look at the monitor...waiting...anticipating...willing...

"And there it is..." the doctor gasped as the monitor responded to the pulse in Stef's heart, everyone in the room letting out a sigh of relief.

Lena let out a loud gasp, her body falling forward as she reacted to the sudden intake of oxygen through her lungs and into her brain, her hands landing on her knees to steady herself. If you didn't understand the context of the situation you would have been forgiven for thinking that she had just finished printing half a mile. Tears streamed down her cheeks landing on the floor at her feet, her body shaking as though it was standing on a giant vibrator. Lena didn't see or hear the nurse walk up next to her; she felt a hand on her back and someone gently helped her stand up straight. Lena's eyes met Lisa's, fear and dread written everywhere.

"She's ok, we brought her back, and she's stable" Lisa said as she rubbed gentle circles around Lena's back. She slowly wrapped her arms around Lena's shoulders and tried to guide Lena to the seating area on the other side of the room. "Breath, just take slow deep breathes" she said as they gingerly walked.

The tension in Lena's body had caused her to stiffen and lock, making it difficult to move. She winced as her legs bent, her joints cracking and making a clicking sound as she allowed Lisa to support her body weight. When Lena sat down she felt instant relief from her aching body. One of the 2nd nurses came over and handed Lisa a cup.

"Here, drink this, it will help you calm your nerves" she said softly as she extended her hand with the cup.

Lena extended her hand to reach for the cup being offered in front of her, her hands were shaking from the shock, the cup felt warm to the touch. She lifted her other hand to try and steady herself so she wouldn't spill. Lisa gently placed her hand under the cup to help support Lena as she took a small and tentative sip. Her lips were dry, the warm cup sticking to her bottom lip. The first sip was hard to swallow; her throat had tightened and was coarse as sandpaper. The liquid was a soothing feeling as it made its way down Lena's throat warming and easing the tension in her chest. Her breathing slowed with the second sip and her muscles began to relax. Lisa continued to rub gentle circles down Lena's back, she let go of the cup as Lena took her second sip.

"Thank you" Lena said as she began to regain her composure.

"I know it's scary, I'm sorry" Lisa tried to comfort Lena

"Is she going to be ok?" Lena's voice was still a hoarse and shaky as she spoke, the words coming out rough. She continued to look at the cup of tea in front of her.

"She's stable; we are going to monitor her very carefully throughout the night to make sure she stays that way" Lisa voice was calm, gentle and soothing.

Lena looked at over at Lisa, "what happened, I thought she was doing fine?"

"Gunshot wounds that don't have an exit wound, as is in Stef's case, endure much more kinetic energy from the bullet causing more tissue damage than a bullet that has exited the body. The tissue damage in Stef's case is extensive and that is causing her body to go into shock."

"Could this happen again?" Lena asked nervously

"We will continue to do everything we can to make sure it doesn't happen again" Lisa had almost 20 years experience as a nurse and what she knew more than anything is that families didn't want false hope, so she always tried to be as honest as she could be without scaring the patient's family.

Lena took a deep breath, "can I see her?"

Lisa looked over to Stef's room to make sure that everyone had finished and cleared the room before she turned back to look at Lena "Yes dear, of course"

Lena put the cup down on the small table in front of them, and arched her back to release the stiffness before she stood up. Her legs felt like jelly as her weight caught her legs off guard, she locked her knees and stood for a minute to regain her strength.

"Are you ok dear" Lisa enquired noticing Lena's unsteadiness.

"I'm fine, thank you" as she tried to smile, the tension in her face betraying her efforts.

Lena slowly walked into Stef's room; Stef laid still, the machines quietly going about their business of monitoring her vitals and pumping oxygen into her lungs. After the commotion of just moments ago the silence in the room was deafening. Lena made her way next to Stefs side; she leaned in to give her a kiss on the forehead before slowly taking her hand and placing it in hers.

How close did she just come to becoming a single mother of 5 children, how close did she come to living in a world without her love, how close did she come to losing her heart? In this moment she was grateful, grateful she didn't have to go home and tell her children they had lost their mother, grateful she didn't have to plan a funeral and try and comfort her family through it, grateful that she didn't have to crawl into bed alone that night and cry herself to sleep.

"The children need you" the words were faint heart wrenching and pain filled "I need you!" Lena lifted Stef hand and gently kissed her knuckles. Lena took her seat next to Stef, her hands tightly wrapped in hers, her elbows resting on the bed.

Despite how quickly the time had passed, it still had felt like the longest night of her life. Lisa had been in and out of the room every 30 minutes or so checking Stef's vitals ensuring that she remained stable throughout the night. As tired as Lena was sleep evaded her, she sat quietly holding Stef's hand starring at her, her mind remained blank, exhaustion making it difficult to think but perhaps more accurate to say she was too scared to allow herself to think. If she thought she would replay the nights event over and over and reliving that fear again and again was terrifying, so it was easier to just not to think.

The doctor walked in for morning rounds, walking up to the foot of Stef's bed to pick up her chart. He looked up a Lena.

"Morning, how you doing?"

"Morning, tired" Lena responded as she looked up at the doctor

"I can imagine, I see she had a rough night last night" Flipping through the various notes made on the board he was holding in front of him.

"How is she doing?" Lena arched her back once again to try and loosen the stiff muscles in her neck.

"Her vitals seem good, I'm going to ask the nurse to come in and get her prepped for surgery"

Lena didn't want to ask the question because she was scared of the answer she might get but she knew she had to ask, she had to be prepared. "What are her chances?" the questions hesitant but she was strong in her resolve to ask it.

"As long as there are no surprises when we get in there, and looking at the situation now there shouldn't be any, I am feeling confident" the doctor said giving Lena a positive smile that he hoped would reassure her.

"We should be in there for a few hours so it will be a long wait." No sooner had he finished speaking a young looking nurse walked into the room. "Nurse Ross, will you please get Ms Foster here prepped for surgery?" he said looking over at the young woman.

This nurse looked much younger than Lisa was, in her 30's perhaps. She nodded in the direction of the doctor as he handed her the flip chart and walked towards Lena and looked her dead in the eye.

"We are going to do everything we can" he said with confidence.

"Thank you" Lena responded with sincerity and appreciation.

The doctor gave a few instructions to the nurse before walking out the room. The young nurse smiled at Lena.

"I need to get Stef prepped for surgery"

"Will I get to see her before you take her in?" Lena asked looking down at Stef

"Yes, I need to take upstairs for final X-rays, then we need to get her into her surgical gown and I'll bring her back down so you can see her before we take her in" The nurse responded politely.

"Ok, thank you" Lena responded as she slowly stood up from her chair. She leaned in to give Stef a kiss on the forehead. She picked up her purse and slowly made her way out the room. As she stood in the waiting area she pulled her cell phone from her bag. The first call she made was to Brandon, she needed to let the kids know that Stef would be going into surgery soon. The second and third call was to Sharon and Frank respectively giving them both an update on Stef's condition, she thought she would spare them the knowledge that Stef's heart had stopped the night before. She made sure to keep to the basics. Her final call was to her parents. She stood for a moment in the waiting area, once she had hung up having finished speaking to her mother, when she spotted nurse Lisa Edwards. She must have been on her way out after the end of her night shift because she was carrying her hand bag and had changed out of her nurse's outfit. She spotted Lena and made her way towards her.

"Are they getting her prepped for surgery?" She said as she reached Lena's side

Lena breathed in deeply "Yes" her response subdued and nervous

"She's in good hands" Lisa tried to reassure Lena

"Thank you...and thank you for last night" Lena said the tips of her mouth lifting upwards in an effort to smile

"Of course dear, have you eaten yet, you should eat something"

"No, but I was hoping to get something quickly while Stef was being prepped" Lena wasn't particularly hungry but she felt the need to do something while she waited for Stef to come back from X-rays and getting something to eat seemed like the perfect distraction.

"If you take the elevators at the end of the hall down one floor, it will lead straight into the cafeteria" Lisa pointed towards the end of the passage which was in the opposite direction they were facing.

"Thank you, again" Lena said sheepishly

"Of course, I'm at the end of my shift but I will be in again later this evening"

"Enjoy your day" Lena responded, feeling a certain level of comfort at knowing that Lisa would be back later on that evening. She had been kind to Lena.

As soon as Lisa began to walk towards the exit, Lena picked up her purse and made her way to cafeteria, her appetite wasn't strong, so she grabbed a couple pieces of toast and coffee before making her way back up to Stef's floor where she waited for her return. It didn't take long before the young nurse Ross rolled Stef back into the room.

"Everything is prepped to take her into surgery, the orderly will be in about 10minutes to take her into theatre" the younger nurse said while positioning Stef's bed back in place.

"Thank you" was all Lena said as she watched the nurse go about her business before leaving the room.

Lena walked up to Stef's bed, she looked at Stef intently, taking in everything about her...the creases just below her eyes, the faint scar on her bottom lip, the length of her eyebrows, the slight dimple on her chin, the rise and fall of her cheekbones, her hazel green eyes. Lena memorised absolutely every detail that made Stef who she was before she slowly leaned in for a kiss on Stefs' forehead, she allowed her lips to settle on Stefs' skin just a little longer than normal.

She pulled her lips away just enough to whisper "I Love you" before she gave Stef one final kiss in the very same spot. Lena ran her hands through Stef's hair one last time and pulled back. The nurse and the orderly where discretely standing near the door allowing Lena the time to say her goodbye, as soon as they felt comfortable that Lena had had her moment they walked into the room. Lena standing next to Stef's bed holding her hand. Her heart was speeding, she was scared and more than anything she wasn't ready to let go.

"We are going to take her into theatre, you can wait at the 2nd floor waiting area" The young nurse advised Lena as they began to unhook Stef from the various machines so they could roll her out.

Lena made her way to the waiting area where she sat alone for a few minutes, time to try and decompress. She heard the children before she saw them, as soon as she heard them making their way down the passage she took a deep breath and put on a brave face. Hugs where exchange on arrival, before everyone took a seat in the open chairs around Lena. No one really knowing what to say silence quickly fell on the room, everyone knew the significance of the day and so there was nothing to say. After a long few minutes Brandon was the first to speak.

"Did they say how long she would be in surgery" asking as he turned to look at Lena

The angst and anxiety in Lena was beginning to take its toll, her hand aggressively rubbing the handle of the chair as she responded to Brandon's question "Aaah they weren't sure"

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Aaah I had some toast, what about you guys have you eaten anything?" looking across at Jude and Callie.

"Wyatt brought donuts" Jude piped up quickly

Donuts would have never been Lena's first choice of food for the kids early in the morning, but right at this minute she was happy they had something in their stomach to tide them over.

"Ah do you want to go and get some air" Callie asked Wyatt, responding to the tension in the room and the slight awkwardness that had fallen on them.

Wyatt nodded and they quickly made their way out the room.

The burden of the last 24 hours was taking its toll, Lena was exhausted, she had not slept all night, and she had almost lost her partner, the mother of her children. As they sat she realised that the children will never know just how close they came to losing their mother; that was the burden Lena would carry for her children. The sight of seeing and hearing Stef heart stop would be something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. Without realising it Jude had got up from his chair and sat next to Lena, tenderly placing his hand over hers in an effort to comfort his mother. It caught Lena by surprise but somehow that little act of kindness shown by such a little boy, was what she needed to strengthen her resolve again, to maintain the brave mask she was wearing for the sake of her children, to carry the burden of the knowledge that their mother was in theatre fighting the battle of her life.

It had been a long wait in the waiting room before the doctor walked in the room after Callie. Lena tapped Jude on the leg the little boy had fallen asleep on her shoulder, quickly getting up to meet the doctor in the middle of the room. Angst and anxiety were filtering through her veins as she waited for the doctor to speak.

"She did great" were the first words out of his mouth.

Relief washing over Lena like a swimmer rising from the depths of the ocean to take his first breath of fresh air.

"We removed all the bullet fragments"

"But not the bullet" Lena was quick to ask realising that perhaps they weren't out of the woods just yet.

"Well believe it or not it can be more harmful to take them out. In about an hour we are going to move her back up to ICU were you can all see her. We feel optimistic she is going to make a full recovery." The doctor spoke with confidence.

These were the words Lena was desperate to hear the words she had prayed she would hear, Stef was going to be fine, and more importantly they had more time.

"Thank you" Lena responded

The tension in everyone's face and body realising simultaneously, the atmosphere in the room instantly felt lighter than moments ago. Lena walked over to Brandon to give him a hug, before the made her way to the twins. She desperately tried to hide her anger, but her body just didn't have the energy to hide her disappointment in her two youngest children.

When Lena walked into Stef's room she was quick to make her way to her side, taking a look at this woman that she loved with her whole heart. They had removed the tube from her throat and replaced it with an oxygen mask, some of the colour had returned to Stef's face if only slightly she looked healthier. She let out the first sigh of relief since the moment she had received the call from Mike. That one moment had changed absolutely everything and as she stood over Stef she couldn't believe just how lucky they were, life had given them a second chance a second chance at love, family, life and happiness. There are many people that never get this second chance, there are many families who would give anything to have a moment like this. Lena knew this and she was thankful as she leaned in to give Stef a tender yet passion filled kiss in the very same spot she had kissed her that morning before surgery. The tears that filled her eyes and rolled down her face as she waited for Stef to wake up were nothing but relief, relief that this nightmare was over, she wasn't a widow and single mother, tears of gratitude that she didn't have to contemplate a life without her love. They were tears of love for this woman who held her heart in hers.

Lena was lost in thought when she heard the muffled sounds coming from Stef. Stef was trying to talk and she shouldn't be talking, she should be resting. Those were the doctor's orders, she needs to rest.

"No, no, no" Lena tried to quells Stefs attempts to speak.

Another muffled sound came from Stef

"No, don't talk, don't talk" Lena encouraged

Stef true to herself, was determined to speak, she slowly lifted her hand and gingerly pulled the mask from her face. Stef swallowed hard in an attempt to clear her throat from what felt like cobwebs

"Will you marry me" Stef's voice was hoarse and soft, her mouth was dry making it difficult to get the words out.

Off all the things, a proposal was the last thing Lena expected to come out of Stef's mouth in that moment, but Stef had a way of surprising Lena like that, so perhaps she shouldn't have been surprised.

"I thought you'd never ask" Surprise, love, appreciation all hitting her at once.

"Neither did I" Stef quipped. She was back; Stef making jokes was a good sign that the worst was over.

"Don't ever scare me like that again" her face was pleading as she looked at Stef, sharing with her for a brief moment the trauma that she had endured in the last 24 hours.

"How, how are my babies?" Stef wanted to make sure that everyone in her family was ok.

"They're ok, they were scared" Lena whispered back

"And Mariana" Stef knew the little girl was upset and afraid when Stef had left the house to find Jesus.

For the first time Lena took a moment to reflect on the reality that maybe not all her children were ok. Stef had been her priority, but now that she was ok she had to be a mother again. Guilt settled in as Lena took stock of the fact that she had neglected her motherly duties, and realised that perhaps a heart to heart with their daughter was in order. In that moment they heard a gentle knock on the door, both woman looked up, and there standing in the door eager to come in where Brandon, Jesus, Jude and Callie.

"You can come in guys" Lena said at her brood.

They filed into the room one by one, each taking a spot around Stefs bed

"How you feeling?" Brandon piped up, feeling the need to take the lead as the oldest sibling.

"Oh me, like I've climbed Mount Everest, but I'll be up and at 'em in no time, driving you all crazy" Stef said with a hint of naughtiness in her voice, educing small little giggles from her children. Stef looked around the room, taking in the sight of her beautiful children, realising that there was one missing.

"Where's Mariana" she asked

"I don't know, we couldn't find her when we started making our way up" Callie responded

"I'll go look for her" Jesus was quick to jump in

"It's ok I'll go" Lena responded "You stay here with your mom" Realising that this was something she had to do. Mariana was feeling guilty and Lena knew she had not helped matters, so it was up to her to make things right. Lena gave Stef a quick peck on the head.

"I'll be back shortly" She said looking at the kids "Behave, you need to rest" she said looking over at Stef with a stern look on her face that elicited a smile from Stef.

"Are those for me" Lena heard Stef ask as she began walking out the room

"Yes, we got them at the gift shop" Jude responded

Lena took a minute to stop at the door and look at the sight of her family, as the kids huddled closer to Stef. This was a sight that would never fail to bring joy to her heart.

Lena's body was sluggish, her feet feeling like rocks of cement as she made her way through the hospital, first checking the waiting area before making her way outside to find Mariana sitting alone on a bench. She put her bag down and took a seat next to the young girl. She took a few seconds to gather her thoughts, making sure to be very selective of the words she chose to use in this moment.

"Do you remember when I asked you why you went behind out backs to meet with Ana?" Lena waited for Mariana to respond, looking straight ahead at the floor in front of her.

"Yeah" was all Marina said, as she looked over at her mother with sadness and guilt in her eyes.

"Well I have been thinking about that and I realised, I don't think you even know why. I think what you were craving was more than just some supervised visit with your birth mom; you were wanting a relationship with the woman who gave birth to you, who you looked like. Who had it together now and regretted not being able to keep you."

Mariana's face was a river of tears, taking in very word her mother spoke. Lena took a deep breath and steadied herself before she turned to face her daughter and look her in the eye for the first time since this whole ordeal began.

"I know it must be hard to understand how your birth mom could have chosen drugs over you and your brother. I don't understand it. All I know is...we chose you and you chose us. DNA doesn't make a family, love does"

Lean stretched out both her hands and collected Mariana's between them, she looked her dead in the eye and with all the love and compassion a mother could convey to her daughter.

"We love you, and that is never going to change"

Mariana looked at her mother intently, Lena extended her arms and wrapped them around her daughter in a bid to reassure her that this love she felt for her would never change. In that moment the world seemed to fall back on its axis again. Things were as they were meant to be, a family united in love. After a long moment, Lena pulled back from her embrace and wiped the tears from Mariana's face. She gave her a warm, sincere and heartfelt smile.

"Let's go see your mom, she was asking for you"

Mariana smiled back at her mother and nodded.

The end

_A/N: Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this story, an even bigger thank you to everyone that has taken the time to post a review. _

_A/N: My medical knowledge is limited to episodes of Grey's Anatomy and I apologies for any medical mistakes I might have made. _

_A/N: I realise that there is more to this story beyond this point, however I have read a few stories that pick up from when Stef wakes up and I could never do them any justice with my own version so I decided to stop here. _


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